Advice on Landing Page

[DigitalSignature]

Guys and Gals

any advice welcome on tidying up this landing page text

basically trying to get the benifits of my product in one liners

Benefits

• Visitors never leave your website, fully integrated into your website in 10 minutes.
• Offer fantastic prizes worth between £1,500 and $2,000 pound. Just as large companies run prize promotions to increase sales and brand awareness, you too can now tap into the same marketing power.
• Use in all your marketing campaigns to greatly increase click through rates.
• Capture visitors email addresses with ease and email them at the end of each month.
• Increase visitor interaction with your website. New prize every month. Visitors return month after month.
• Selection of colours and buttons, fully customisable to ensure closest match with your own website design.
• Prizes awarded on the last day of the month. Visitors can enter new prize draw each month
• Prize's offered changed every three months to ensure value from any graphical advertising you have undertaken. New Prize chosen by yourselves via poll and you will also receive advertising pack containing product details and advertising images well in advance of changeover.
• Banner advert templates also provided with full rights to alter as desired.

[West_Side_Story]

at just a quick glance I'd say the first thing to do in order to tidy the benefits would be to remove all that could be considered T and Cs, they can be stated on another page dealing in more depth with the relevant issue

[Donna]

I would shorten the lines. Also put all the "prize" related lines into these own section.

Do you plan on using bullets? I find them harder to skim read which most internet users do.

[Brian Turner]

Some of those bullet points leave me confused as to:

a) the product
b) why the product is important to me

Clarifying such points on the landing page can only be helpful.

[A.N.Onym]

You need to focus on the benefits to your clients.

Sure, what you listed is great, but you need to word the exact benefits for the customers, like a continuous stream of customers, great visibility, stickiness and such. Also, I'd list only the most important benefits, because reading a long list of benefits may be tiring.

A customer research might help.

[kundalini]

Originally Posted by DigitalSignature

Guys and Gals

any advice welcome on tidying up this landing page text

basically trying to get the benifits of my product in one liners

Benefits

• Visitors never leave your website, fully integrated into your website in 10 minutes.
• Offer fantastic prizes worth between £1,500 and $2,000 pound. Just as large companies run prize promotions to increase sales and brand awareness, you too can now tap into the same marketing power.
• Use in all your marketing campaigns to greatly increase click through rates.
• Capture visitors email addresses with ease and email them at the end of each month.
• Increase visitor interaction with your website. New prize every month. Visitors return month after month.
• Selection of colours and buttons, fully customisable to ensure closest match with your own website design.
• Prizes awarded on the last day of the month. Visitors can enter new prize draw each month
• Prize's offered changed every three months to ensure value from any graphical advertising you have undertaken. New Prize chosen by yourselves via poll and you will also receive advertising pack containing product details and advertising images well in advance of changeover.
• Banner advert templates also provided with full rights to alter as desired.

The key to Landing Pages is to connect to the place from which the visitor has come, so that they know they are in the right place. Usually this is done through the heading/title. If you have several sources of traffic then you need separate landing pages. Similarly different adgroups on Adwords will typically require separate and distinct landing pages. Marketing Sherpa's Landing Page Handbook is excellent if you are seeking to improve your landing pages.

As for this one, it doesn't read well. I would never have made it to the bottom of the page. I suppose I'm not the target audience.