Thanks for the comments, David - I manage the VAT returns myself as these are relatively simple.
I think the big issue for me, as you pointed out, is to stop looking at overall revenues and look specifically at revenues after VAT for my income.
I was actually writing a report for a client, recommending we upgrade their services to a higher plan. I was going to insert sample figures of cost, then realised I hadn't accounted for VAT, so had to raise these higher. As I tend to view myself as being pretty cheap and effective, it always makes me uncomfortable seeing client costs increased because I have to add VAT.
No chance of my trying to fiddle VAT, though - accounts just plain scares me, but not as much as the Tax Man. I aim to stay on the right side of HMRC.